Failure

Failure is an option

It is now infuriating to open the newspaper and stare at the image of some kid who has topped their "board exams". Inevitably, the image and the accompanying story, is a cliched one.

Middle-class (or poor kid, if you will) slogged for 14-15 hours everyday against the odds, now flanked by proud parents on either side.

Then there are other "war-stories" as well. That of some kid who studied at night-school; another who studied under the street-lamp; yet another of beating utter poverty; and so on and so forth. Their lives are inevitably charted out as well. Indian parent aspire their children will grow up to be one of a few professionals: A doctor, an engineer, a management professional (and the more "patriotic" imagine their progeny as an officer out of the National Defence Academy). 

Then there are the so-called "liberal" folks who think children must follow their dreams and are "comfortable" with them pursuing a degree in the "liberal arts" insist kids get into the most premier colleges.

Failure in not an option.        

For the kids who did well, good on you. Many congratulations. But give the kids who made it, those who didn't, and folks like me a break. I'm done with reading cliches because fact is, those who did well are outliers--not the normal.

Very recently, I read someplace the most traumatic years in a human's life is adolescence. That piqued my curiosity and I've been looking up for rigorous literature on the theme. What I haven't managed to do yet though are wrangle a few one-on-one conversations with people who have researched the theme deeply. 

Since the time the thought got embedded in the mind, I can't help look at adolescents with much curiosity either. What may they be going on in their minds? And then out of no place, this song showed up on my feed. I had to listen to it.

Catie Turner - 21st Century Machine (Lyrics)

It was written, composed and performed by the 17-year old Catie Turner and was first presented to the world when she auditioned for the 2018 edition of American Idol. She came across as quirky, a tad arrogant perhaps, and nerdy as well -- but there is no taking away from the innocence of it all.

Since she burst on the scene earlier this year, much has been spoken and written about her and she has attracted a lot of attention.

What got me though is the perspective the song offers. There is rebellion in it and it must compel every adult to question how ought we be looking at kids?

Now that I'm in my forties, I'm hard pressed to imagine how may I have appeared to those older than me. What I do know though is that I wanted to fit-in, be seen as grown up, mean and badass. I suspect many elders indulged me. I am certain though I must have looked like a lump of turd trying too hard.

Back then, I thought the only option I had was to be a medical doctor. And because I couldn't make it to medical school, ended up studying the biosciences. How was I to know then over time, a series of failures and accidents would see me through philosophy, economics, finance, technology, journalism, writing, people, and above all else, go back to the text books I could make no sense of then. How was I to know back then that there is a life beyond medical and engineering school? And that it's okay to fail.

The one lesson that has stayed through all this is: It's okay to fail. So long as you're willing to get up and get on with what next. There is much joy in the journey.  

It's time to be gentler to our kids.